


Collateral Damage

by acoletterose



Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Collateral Damage, Friendship, Gen, Innocence, Justice, Loss of Control, Loss of Innocence, Moral Dilemmas, Murder, Out of Character, Pre-Relationship, Revenge
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-25
Updated: 2017-10-25
Packaged: 2019-01-22 17:36:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,891
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12487180
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/acoletterose/pseuds/acoletterose
Summary: Who should be exposed to death and mayhem when Garrus has a personal vendetta?





	Collateral Damage

**Author's Note:**

> I don’t own these characters, y’all.
> 
> I’ve had this idea rattling around in my head a long time. The first time I ever played through, I brought Tali and Garrus with me to take out Dr Saleon. When Garrus wanted to kill him I gasped and said aloud, to myself, in an empty room “we can’t do that in front of Tali! She’s too innocent!”
> 
> And so it went.

I’m not going to say I’m an expert in Turian subvocals but I was pretty sure the grating sound coming from Garrus’s general direction during decontamination had only one possible interpretation: furious. His mandibles were clamped so close to his face I was afraid his injured one might snap off. Everything about his body language told me he was wound tight as a trip-wire.

I gave him a day to process on his own before I sought him out at his usual place in the battery. I appreciated his constant calibration. I suspected he did it to ensure that we didn’t lose another Normandy. Another me. Though maybe, after this last mission, he won’t care so much about that anymore. I set aside the painful pang I feel at that. We’ll examine it later. After many, many, _many_ drinks.

I knew he was in there. I stared at the battery door and took a moment to gather my thoughts.

In some ways, this was another Saleon. There, Garrus, Tali, and I had sought the geneticist out. I had brought Tali to mine for any encrypted information that could help Saleon’s victims. His medical equipment had been stained with the blood of many species. Pale blue, violet, orange… and more than a few dark red. In hindsight, I should’ve just brought Wrex and torn the ship to pieces.

I didn’t have any doubt that Heart was Saleon. If Garrus said that’s who he was, then that is who he was. But I stopped him from gunning the so-called doctor down. I reminded him that no one knows what the Salarian had been up to. I wanted some answers to give to the family members of his victims. I planned to go through other reasons later. At the time, I just wanted him to cool off. Garrus objected at first but seemed to understand quickly. I remember him saying he’s never met anyone like me. He sounded almost... awed. And then we had to kill the bastard anyway.

Once we were back on the Normandy, I found him alone and added my other reasons. I was Alliance. When I board a ship and civilians die, I’m required to file a report about it and there’s a general inquiry to verify the facts I give. I explained that process to him. “So, Garrus,” I asked him, “you think I’m going to file a report that says I gunned down a civilian without provocation and in cold blood? You think that would work out well for me?”

I waited a beat then continued. “Of course I wouldn’t. I’m not stupid enough to file a report outlining a murder we commited. So, I lie. I say he drew a weapon on me and that I had to defend myself. You going to back me up on that lie, Vakarian?”

He seemed taken aback by my blunt question. So much for that awe. I waited for his answer. I was curious to see whether he would support the lie or not. “I guess lying in the report would be what we’d both have to do if we’d done what I wanted to do,” he answered. He hastily added “though I wouldn’t have liked it” when I raised my eyebrow at him.

“And Tali? You want her to lie for us too, to help us get away with murder? You want to use her that way?” The light of understanding in his eyes clicked on at that. He understood the moral high ground earlier. And now I knew he understood what I saw as the worst angle. I kill people all the time. Every day. But Tali was a good kid. I wasn’t about to put her in that position. At the time, I’d hoped he’d begin to consider the unexpected collateral damage that can happen on missions like that.

I sigh and take a step closer to the battery doors. Gardner must think I’m bonkers.

Normally during my rounds I would start at the bottom of the ship, talk to Jack, and then work my way back up to Joker. Today wasn’t an ordinary round. Back on the first Normandy, when I stopped him the first time, I had gone straight to Garrus after we returned to the ship. But that was a mission that came out of his job. Sidonis, that was personal. That was family. Garrus said he trusted me to have his back on this. And I ... didn’t. He said he didn’t want to talk to me right after. I respected that, but I won’t let this fester either.

I sighed again and looked at the visor I held in my hands. Alright, time to bite the bullet. I walked through the doors and studied his back. “You got a minute?” I ask him.

He doesn’t even turn to look at me. Still angry, then. “Can it wait for a bit? I’m in the middle of some calibrations.”

“Sorry, Garrus, but I’d rather it not wait. I think you know what I’m here to talk to you about.” I bump him over with my hip and begin to patch the visor I had in my hands into the screen of his workstation. It was the visor I had been wearing two days ago. He makes an odd chirp when my hip hits him. I suppose I’ll have to research it to see if I committed some sort of faux pas. I make a mental note of it and file it in the back of my head next to the pang I felt earlier.

“I want to know that I did the right thing, not just for me - for my men. They deserve to be avenged, Shepard. Now I don’t know if I can do it. Or if I’ll even get another chance.” I can hear his subvocals working long after the translator in my ear stops. I know Garrus well enough to understand the hurt and anger that’s there. But he’s listening and he’s ready to talk. Plus, I can tell the fiddling I’m doing with my visor has caught his interest.

“I just need you to see this through my eyes. Then we’ll go from there, okay Garrus?” I’m surprisingly thankful at his nod.

Our conversations throughout the various firefights while we were looking for Harkin had concerned me. Then, he shot Harkin. I should’ve stopped him, could have, but, well, I’m not opposed to some heavy-handedness here and there. At the same time, it just wasn’t like him to pull a stunt like that. And murder? That’s never really been my cup of tea. Not with Saleon, and not with Sidonis. I’d thought I’d confirmed that it wasn’t Garrus’s thing either. Not for the first time do I wonder what he’s been through during the two years I was gone.

When I walked out towards Sidonis, I hadn’t been sure how it would end. When I stepped towards the common area in front of the Orbital Lounge I set my visor to record. I’m still not quite sure why, though I’m glad I did.

With the visor finally patched in, I began to play it. I hadn’t watched it before then. Didn’t want to, if I was being honest with myself. Garrus’s voice sounded out, “All right. There he is... waive him over and keep him talking.” His words cued a careening picture as I looked about for Sidonis. It was the middle of the day and, while the common area wasn’t packed, it was by no means empty.

The video settled on where my eyes had at the time: on a family celebrating their child’s birthday party with friends. A small Asari girl was laughing with five other children of various races. Her mothers were carrying bags of presents and what looked like leftovers from a restaurant. They were happy, laughing, and located not more than twenty feet from where Sidonis was walking up to me. “Shit.” I jumped. I hadn’t realized I’d said it aloud at the time. I heard Garrus’s talons scrape the side of the workstation.

Garrus’s voice again, “you’re in my shot, move to the side.” I was still looking at those kids. I don’t know how old the Asari girl was but her friends couldn’t have been older than ten at most. I remember that at the time I had tried to calculate whether they were far enough away to avoid being sprayed with Sidonis’s blood when his head exploded into a fine blue mist.

That’s what made the decision for me. Garrus was too wrapped up in this. Killing Sidonis was not the answer. At least, not like this. My voice again, this time what I expected, telling Sidonis I was there to help him.

The display moved as I did and we could both take in the other people in the area. A couple holding hands and stealing a quick kiss. Some teens running by with shopping bags. Groups of people laughing and smiling. I point to each one of them now, while looking at Garrus and hearing his recording say “If he moves, I’m taking the shot.”

Garrus lets out a heavy sigh next to me. I figure it’s a sign he gets what I was trying to show him, so I stop the video and begin the work of unpatching my visor from his station.

“Look, Garrus. Your team was your family. I get that. But what you were planning on doing there that day, in that area, I hope that’s not really who you’ve become over the past two years.”

He begins to speak and I hold up my hand. “I’m almost done,” I tell him. I call up my omni-tool and the glow lights my face. “Yesterday, Zaeed and I did some investigating. We learned Sidonis turned himself in. They’re transporting him to Omega in three days. Short route with minimal bystanders and cover.” His omni-tool flares as it receives the itinerary I sent him. “If Zaeed is to be believed, the officer escorting him is nearly as dirty as Harkin. Thought you might like to know.”

As I turn to go, I call out to EDI. “EDI, send a notice to all crew members: shore leave is extended for four days.” I leave Garrus to his thoughts.

  
————————————————

  
I had EDI notify me when the entire crew had returned from shore leave. I told her I’d appreciate it if she would forget anything she overheard between me and Garrus recently. I’m not sure whether the AI can even do that. I assume she has orders to report everything to the Illusive Man. Bastard. But her response, “Understood, Shepard,” at least gave me the hope that if she _could_ honor my request, she would.

I had already given Joker the OK to head towards our next destination once we had word everyone was back. I could see the stars begin to shift as I looked out that damned window over my bed.

“EDI?”

“Yes, Commander?”

“Speaking of that conversation I asked you to forget... anything in the news or in radio chatter I need to be made aware of?”

“Not at this time, Commander Shepard. Would you like me to continue to monitor the situation?”

“No. That won’t be necessary.” Relief. “Thank you, that’ll be all EDI.”

“Logging you out, Commander.”

**Author's Note:**

> I’m not in love with the title I have thus far. If anyone has any suggestions for a better one, I’d be happy to hear it.


End file.
